20060531
maybe im just a put down.
all the high hopes seem all gone down the drain.
those sleepless nights i had thinking abt the techniques.
abt how to not make my teams not over-worked themselves on court.
doesnt seem its working for me in this case.
maybe i did a great helped to those in my 1st half team.
the game was alrite, talking abt game sense.
maybe that's is not what they are looking for this time.
maybe they are just looking for physical and skills.
which is something i lack.
maybe im just not born to play sports.
or maybe i just plain to lousy. ohwell.
trying to put a smile on face even though im not alrite seem hard.
but i think i did it quite well today.
i kinda felt i have lost everything.
i mean the motivation to carry on now.
all my 3 weeks of physical training seem useless now.
it just felt like the whole world is moving forward,
but i am the only one moving backwards and left behind.
and maybe i should go back to my shell and nv come out of it anymore.
but one fact i wouldnt denied is that i love floorball.
i love the game.
and i love my friends.
but now the motivation is totally lost in the dark wilderness.
to the point that it wont be able to find it anymore.
WHERE IS MY MOTIVATION?
AND WHO WILL BE MY MOTIVATION?
omg.
maybe god has a betta plan for me.
who knows. ohwell.
should i join them for physical training anymore?
i seriously dont know.
for now. my mind is no longer working.
what a 2 weeks holiday to start with hur.
beingglamourified((: at 10:18 PM